For Peter Tuttle, this Christmas carries a weight beyond twinkling lights and festive cheer. It’s a season steeped in memory, a longing for a connection lost too soon, and a hopeful wish for a song to carry a message across the years.
The 61-year-old grandfather, a hairdresser by trade, found an unexpected creative outlet during the isolating days of the pandemic. His first song, “In My Bubble,” was a raw exploration of personal struggles, but it ignited a passion he never knew he possessed.
Now, with his latest release, “Christmas Time (On My Mind),” Peter hopes to reach the charts, not for personal glory, but to honor the memory of his father, Anthony Tuttle, a Royal Marines Commando who died serving in Brunei in 1968 when Peter was just four years old.
The song isn’t simply a festive tune; it’s a poignant journey back to a Christmas that never was. It imagines a last Christmas with his father, a bittersweet exploration of what might have been, and a quiet reflection on a relationship tragically cut short.
Born in Singapore, Peter grew up with a void shaped like a father he barely knew. He’s spent a lifetime wondering what his life would have been like with Anthony by his side, a question that now pours out in the heartfelt lyrics of his song.
“The objective of the song was to keep his memory alive,” Peter explains, “and getting it out there for the general public to hear could give it longevity.” He admits the song is a deeply personal one, masking the pain of loss behind a familiar Christmas theme.
Writing the final verse, the one that grapples with whether his father knew it was his last Christmas, proved the most difficult. It forced him to confront the profound sadness of a goodbye that never happened.
Ultimately, “Christmas Time (On My Mind)” is a message of resilience. It’s Peter telling his father, across the decades, “I’m doing okay,” a testament to overcoming the trauma of early loss and building a full life despite the absence.
Remarkably, many have commented on the striking resemblance between father and son. Peter carries a physical echo of the man he barely knew, a connection that fuels his desire to keep Anthony’s memory alive.
The song blends the ache of personal loss with the warmth of the Christmas season, a reflection of a life lived with a missing piece. Peter, a father to three daughters and a grandfather to four, cherishes the strong family bonds he’s built, a legacy he hopes honors his own father’s memory.
While facing competition from established stars, Peter holds onto a simple hope: that his song will resonate with others, that it will offer comfort to those who have also experienced loss, and that it will keep the memory of Anthony Tuttle burning bright this Christmas and for years to come.
