The annual surge of questionable corporate holiday merchandise is here, and Microsoft is fully embracing the trend. This year, they’ve unleashed a trio of “ugly” sweaters designed to spark conversation – or perhaps a cringe. The collection offers something for every nostalgic tech enthusiast.
Choices include a Windows-themed sweater, a surprisingly resurrected Zune sweater, and an Xbox design. Prices start at $59.99 for pre-orders of the Xbox sweater, with the others retailing for $79.95. Each aims for that uniquely awkward, intentionally garish aesthetic that defines the holiday sweater season.
The standout, and arguably the ugliest, is the “Artifact” sweater. It’s a chaotic explosion of orange, green, and blue, plastered with iconic images from Microsoft’s past and present. Expect to see a Minecraft creeper, the infamous Clippy, the long-retired Internet Explorer logo, and even the ever-present Copilot icon.
For those with a penchant for tech history, the Zune sweater offers a blast from the past. It’s a festive (though debatably so) brown, dominated by the logo of the once-popular, now-defunct digital media player. Orange accents complete the retro look.
If you prefer something a little more wearable, the Xbox sweater is surprisingly stylish. A black and green color scheme evokes a snowy night, with a pattern suggesting falling snowflakes. It’s the most likely candidate for a genuinely fashionable appearance at a gaming event.
Demand is high, and sizes range from extra-small to 4XL. The Artifact sweater, in particular, appears to be selling quickly, potentially already sold out. Previous years’ releases benefited charities like Girls Who Code, though this year’s collection doesn’t appear to have a charitable component.
Beyond sweaters, Microsoft is also offering a Master Chief bathrobe for $69.95. However, quantities are extremely limited – reportedly only 25 available. For Halo fans, it’s a chance to lounge in ultimate comfort, but swift action is required.
