I asked people why they share their workouts online, bracing for the usual complaints about unrealistic beauty standards. What stunned me wasn’t the volume of those responses, but *who* was sending them – overwhelmingly, it was men. A carefully calculated diet of chicken and rice, obsessive macro tracking, the crushing guilt of a missed session… these behaviors, framed as dedication and strength, revealed a hidden struggle.
For women, these rituals are often recognized as warning signs of disordered eating. But for men, they’re frequently redefined as “discipline” and “optimization.” How many men suffer in silence, their pain dismissed because eating disorders are perceived as a women’s issue? How many cases remain unseen, masked as “clean eating” or simply “serious training”? When body image issues are rebranded as fitness goals, a silent crisis unfolds.
The reality is, men experience eating disorders too. Roughly a third of those diagnosed now identify as male, and experts believe that number is a significant underestimate. Muscle dysmorphia, sometimes called “bigorexia,” is particularly prevalent – a relentless pursuit of muscularity fueled by an obsessive belief that one is never big enough.
Fitness culture often inadvertently enables these harmful behaviors, cloaking them in the language of performance. “Bulking” and “shredding” cycles can easily conceal deeply problematic eating patterns. I’ve witnessed firsthand the mental toll when extreme caloric restriction becomes “cutting” or compulsive exercise becomes “staying on track.”
Social media acts as a powerful amplifier, exacerbating these pressures. One individual, openly sharing “thirst traps,” confessed that even if others deny it, his obsessive tracking and strict diet *is* disordered eating. The public nature of social media makes these feelings constant and inescapable.
We’re bombarded with images of seemingly perfect, often chemically enhanced, physiques presented as attainable. This constant exposure breeds self-scrutiny, comparison, and a pervasive sense of inadequacy. One yoga teacher pointed out that “fitspiration” is about as useful as winning lottery numbers – it ignores the vast complexities of individual circumstances.
What’s most concerning is the lack of language for men to even *name* these struggles. A societal misconception about who experiences eating disorders, combined with deeply ingrained expectations of masculine stoicism, prevents many men from seeking help. Vulnerability is often equated with weakness, making it nearly impossible to admit a problem.
Even seemingly harmless trends contribute to the pressure. “Brotox” – Botox for men – is a prime example. A catchy nickname doesn’t diminish the fact that unattainable beauty standards are driving men to more extreme measures. Cosmetic surgeons report a surge in male patients seeking jawline contouring, under-eye correction, and hair restoration.
These procedures offer discreet results, fitting into lives that were never intended to require such interventions. What’s striking is that many of these men are entering the world of aesthetics for the first time, slowly realizing what women have long understood: appearance impacts success, social standing, and relationships, and the standards are perpetually shifting.
But the demand for stoic self-sufficiency remains, even as it requires significant financial investment. The treatments, supplements, meal prep services, and specialized equipment aren’t cheap. Increasingly, beauty standards demand financial resources, creating yet another arena where class dictates outcomes. Those who can’t afford to meet these expectations are left to suffer in silence.
I once envied men’s freedom from the constant scrutiny women face regarding their bodies. Now, I see things differently, especially after hearing so many men admit they lacked the language to articulate their aesthetic concerns without shame.
There’s a crucial distinction between healthy self-care and the belief that your body is fundamentally flawed. Why is a woman’s obvious eating disorder considered a problem, while a man’s obsessive regimen is seen as admirable? Women have battled body image issues for generations, but many men haven’t been equipped to fight this particular war.
We need to be on the same side, fostering a more honest conversation about the pressures men face regarding their bodies. Until we acknowledge the problem, terms like “cutting” and “discipline” will continue to mask dangerous behaviors in plain sight.
